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well this is awkward then.

Cal: “Play” with Grobro


You watch the gun slide across the room with a mild tinge of annoyance. Now was as good a time as any to hold a blade to her throat and force her into Callie just long enough for you to get the job done, but that sort of violence was pointless by now.

"I’m sure you’re top priority on everyone’s hit list. The sex kind, not the murder kind, although I wouldn’t be surprised if you were on the murder one."

Is she crying? Gross. You roll your eyes. As problematic as this chick is her heart seems to be in the right place.

"Look. If you need a body, kill a rat or something. Then kill a cat. Then a cow, and then a person. Work your way up on the corporeal step ladder.

I don’t know how this whole body snatching deal works. I don’t care. I just need you to be cooperative like you promised and show me how to help. Not you, no, but him. And her.”

Wherever she was, that is. You guess from her little speech that Cal has Umbra’s corpse locked up somewhere to use as a back up vessel.

"I’m done playing around. Stop crying and kiss me. I don’t want to force you, but I have the means to do so if I must."

Your eyes subconsciously wander down to the army knife tucked into your sock before quickly meeting Cal’s yet again.

Wow he keeps saying incredibly awkward things at you and it’s really only infuriating you more. You didn’t even say that, you said nothing about fucking everyone or having all the bitches, you just said you had relations sometimes.

"Shut up, shut up, shut up, you do not understand a word you are saying. Talking with you is a horrid experience."
You go at wiping away the tears furiously, you’re so damn embarrassing. You’re definitely gross, you’re very gross.

"It is not about the bodies!" You only hiss again, looking behind you, you’re pretty ready to bolt. "It, it is, but it’s not! I do not care that greatly about having a body, it is that I promised to someone more powerful than I that they would be dead.
And the moment I let them live, it is going to break that promise.
And not only that, but Callie’s magic will activate. She is sending me to my death, you will be sending me to my death!”

You take a cautious step back, then a limped step back, and then one more, and then turn and run for it. Briefly of course before floating into the air and heading for the door.
If he really wants this body you’re going to make him work for it that’s for sure.

"I will not kiss you, I do not want to kiss you! I refuse to die, I refuse!"

Cal: “Play” with Grobro


You don’t know much about troll anatomy, but assuming they had the same circulatory system as a human, shooting your bro in the foot was looking like an increasingly bad idea. Pretty sure there’s a major artery down there, right? You might end up killing her out of this body anyway, bleeding her out due to your negligence, your inability to think more than one step ahead at a time. It had lost you a shitload of chess games- this hastiness of yours.

Still you did warn her. Your threats of torture were big talk, yeah, but that gun only had three- no, two- bullets in it. You blew the rest of the clip shooting beer cans when you were wasted once. Cal had nothing to worry about.

"Yes, because a man who can overcome a crippling disorder with mental will power, upper body strength and two metal sticks is SO weak. Sorry about your shitty life; join the club. I’m not here to start a fight with you, just to get my bro and Callie back."

Something to stop her? Wasn’t shooting her enough? Apparently not, because now she’s pointing the gun at you. No use pulling your knife, as the old saying goes. Plus she’d probably just confiscate that as well, and you REALLY like that knife…

"Dude. Shoot me if you want. Like I said, this doesn’t have to be a big deal. Let’s make out. Don’t pretend you aren’t dying for some physical contact after an eternity of ghost dick."

No, you don’t want to kiss this asshole. But if you could convince her to make it easier for you it would save you both a lot of trouble.

This was probably true, you’re likely bleeding all over the place from the foot now, as if this body hasn’t lost enough blood already. You’re not particularly bothered, you expected to have to give up the body, you expected it to die. If this body didn’t die and respawn before coming back to life, well then there’s no way he could function in this body.

Shooting him would be pointless, you can’t hurt him nor did you even want to try, and fighting with him, well that would be stupid. You simply toss the gun aside, letting it slide across the tiled floor to the other side of the room, staring him down all the while with a glare.

"I love your implications that I don’t ‘get some’ every once in a while. I have had relations in my time, I hope you realize.
I am not ‘desperate’ to have someone touch me, though I could almost construe those as pleasant words of concern. Except the ‘ghost dick’ bit, don’t call it that.”

You really have no interest in kissing this guy either, that would be really weird. Macking on your exfriend’s pale boyfriend, oh boy.
You go right ahead and back yourself up a bit, though taking up a limp as the injured foot trails blood on the floor.

"Look, I cannot give it up, once I give up this body, once I give up Callie’s body, I am dead.
I will not even have fulfilled my agreement for protection, he will probably destroy me, especially after what I am being forced to do.
If you do not, cannot, erase my existence, then he will.”
You only back of further, legitimately terrified of giving up the body you’re in. Dammit you aren’t supposed to be crying, you said you wouldn’t cry you are so weak and pathetic god dammit.


finishing a series but still being attached to the story and its characters


Cal: “Play” with Grobro


"It isn’t a threat, it’s an order." You reply simply, lowering the gun regardless. For an ex-cripple you sure had a lot of confidence in talking so much shit. As you listen to her rant however, it does dent your bravery a bit. You had no intentions of hurting anyone unless you absolutely had to. And a ghost, of all things? No, she was right.
You do quirk an eyebrow when she mentions your threats of “double death”, however. So she had been listening then too? Interesting. Her fear likely stemmed from never meeting a man unhinged enough to try and kill a ghost, but here you are.

"I’m assuming you can feel pain. You look pretty hurt right now. I bet being in a damaged vessel is so tiring.

The question that stands is how much pain you can take before you’re forced to show me that undoubtedly heinous mug of yours. Or just jump into Callie, wherever she is. It would be wiser of you to do that than stand here in the way of my bro.”

Ah, so she was being brave. It was all an act, you knew that. Why not play along then? You needed something to back up your words. You hope your bro forgives you for this.

You angle the gun at her- well, His foot and pull the trigger. Might as well be polite now.

"Now, please be civil so I can kiss some corpses."

Oh you’ve met plenty of people who have tried to kill you, ghost or not, you’re pretty serious when this isn’t the first person to point a gun at you. Really you’re just on edge because of all these threats you’re getting lately, and you’re pretty sure you’re on your last straw with just about everyone.
For a brief moment, you think you might have the upper hand here, a moment that is quickly shot down, as he’s feigning more confidence than you expected. You must have really underestimated him.

Another thing you especially come to realize when there’s suddenly a bullet going through ‘your’ foot. You make a muffled squeak and drop to one knee, gripping onto the appendage with gritted teeth. He goes for the fucking foot, out of ANYthing else, the foot. He could have just killed this worthless body and let Calib respawn or something but no, he has to torture you. He could just fucking live up to his promise and destroy you but no, he has to torture you. You have tears of anger and frustration biting the edges of ‘your’ eyes.

"I can take a bullet wound, maybe you cannot with your weak human body, but I have been shot more times than I can count. Do you even know what it is like to have a trigger happy sibling? Of course you do not.”
You hiss at him, glaring at him as you try to will the tears away. It hurts, but you manage to stand again, ignoring the pain.

"I will stand where I want, in the way of what I wish to. Now are you actually going to do something to stop me or are you going to keep waving pointless threats in my face?"
And you show him just how pointless it is, lifting a hand and using your spacial powers to teleport the gun from his hand to ‘your’ own in one swift easy movement. Now who’s pointing a gun at who, hm?


giggle at the ghosties!

Cal: “Play” with Grobro


It only takes those first seven words for you to garner this isn’t Umbrage. There were two obvious flaws in her oh so theatrical performance: the words “dude” or “man” had yet to be exchanged, and her cadence was distinctly NOT belonging to your moirail. The suspicion in your face is evident, but it quickly contorts into a grin as you continue watching her little act. 

Why would she feel it necessary to take shelter in the body of the one person here you’d have second doubts about hurting? Her qualms about the gun only strengthen your theory. As she mentions it you pull it from your pocket and point it at her just as teasing as her words, an echoing click alerting all that you had just turned the safety off. Is that any way to greet your pale bro? You really want to make a bad first impression don’t you?

"This is cute. Could it be you’re scared of me?”

You listen to her spiel about your legs, only serving to help you lose your temper faster. Your disability was a sensitive topic, and on top of that she kneels over laughing about what you’re assuming is a gay joke? You immediately cock the trigger.

"It has to be, doesn’t it? You’re hiding in there. I’m not above popping a cap in your ass if it will scare you out. I’m sure Umbrage will forgive me.

Now get out. I’m interested in my first meeting with you, as I have a feeling it won’t be the last.”

Your laugh cuts sort at the sound of that click and you freeze up pretty quick.
Damn, you really should have read their conversations more, gotten a better feel for how they interact. Shamefully you never really paid much attention to them at all.
This wouldn’t be the first time you’ve had a gun pointed at you, but in this case it’s not your own body that would be harmed. Your grin turns quickly into a deep frown.
He’s damn right you’re frightened.

”..I don’t respond to threats, dearest.
And I can assure you if you don’t play by my rules, you are going to regret it fairly quickly.

Surely you do not think a gun would be enough to do me in?
Did you really have any real plan when coming here? Any real idea of what you were going to do with me?
Do you even really know what you are facing?”
Quite a lot of talk you’re doing for someone looking down the barrel of a gun, you’re almost daring him to shoot. If all he has is that gun, it could work to your advantage, maybe this won’t go as badly as you think.

"No, you would not want to truly see me face to face, you would be terrified. You would see a monster from the inside out and you would run.
Can you even really fight a ghost? Where is your *real* collateral here hm? I thought you were going to double kill me, where is that show now?”

You stand tall again, staring him dead in the face, unmoving.
Really everything you’re doing here at all is just a little show, a little act, a little threatening, and a touch of instigating.


i am not a milf.

Cal: “Play” with Grobro


> Brody: Go get your necrophiliac on.

Ugh, gross. You don’t want to think about that now, not until you absolutely have to. This Cal person seems dangerous.
You had promised Rose and everyone else that you wouldn’t get yourself whacked off, and Cal had no complaints when you mentioned bringing some life insurance of your own. So it was now that you found yourself packing heat, a loaded pistol in your front pocket, a Swiss army knife tucked into your sock like you used to carry it as a kid.

You had never used a gun before, but if that Uracil dude reared their fucked up skull head you had no problem blasting it off. It was more for self defense than assault, after all. You weren’t a naturally violent person.

Once you punch in the coordinates and arrive you’re a bit taken aback. He’s alive? Umbrage was right in front of you, looking like shit yes but undoubtedly animated. You glance around the room a bit. Standard Portal motif, they weren’t kidding about owning Aperture. Callie’s body is missing for some reason. 

Quite the first meeting. 

"Okay, let’s do this."

> Cal: Go in for the kiss.

Oh hell no. If anyone thought you were going to kiss him they had another thing coming.
Still, you move to greet him, groaning quietly to yourself at just how stiff and sore this body really is. You ever so carefully fold your hands in front of you and give him a bit of a grin, though eyeing downwards. You’re fully aware he has weapons, this is unsurprising to you, but it still makes you nervous as fuck.

"So you came after all, how grand! You’re already proving to be such a good little moirail, standing up to the big bads just to get my body back.
How quaint.
I see you also brought a gun, planning on shooting me, Grobro? Is that any way to greet your pale bro? You really want to make a bad first impression don’t you?”
Your smile wavers, you’re trying not to make it obvious how nervous you actually are, though it may become obvious you are stalling a bit. Especially so wit how much you’re teasing at their relationship.

"And you can walk! You know, I only heard about that pretty recently, it’s so *nice* to see you standing on two feet.
Did it hurt? Fixing your legs?
Honestly I miss the wheelchair, it was better when you took everything sitting down.
Hoo! You have to laugh with yourself on that one, and laugh you do, clutching your sides in pain and wheezing at the burning in these fucked up lungs. It was worth it though, definitely worth it.